Empty Bottles and Warm Tears
by Jagfan 724
Summary: [Complete] Amidst empty bottles and warm tears, through one massive hangover and deeply embedded doubts, can Harm and Mac help each other?


**Title: Empty Bottles and Cold Tears**

**Author: Jagfan724**

**AN: This happens sometime after Paraguay. Webb and Mac NEVER went anywhere. Oh, if that only were true.**

**Much thanks to my beta, Odakota! Her suggestions were very wonderful!**

* * *

Mac was worried. Harm always answered his phone, whether it was the one at his apartment or his cell. But she had been trying to get a hold of him for almost half an hour now. There were a few questions she needed to ask about this case she had been trying to work on. Or at least that would be her excuse, if she ever found him. The real reason was that she missed her best friend and she was worried about him. Lately it seemed as if the fight had gone out of him. He was agreeable, even calm, giving everyone his "Whatever you want, I don't care, but I'm fine," flyboy look. But she knew better. It had been a while since they'd really talked and she missed those times.

As she pulled up to his apartment building, she looked up, only to find his window dark. She thought she saw a shadow pass in front of the window briefly but she wasn't sure. She decided to try anyway. Mac waited patiently as she knocked on the door. No one was answering but Mac could swear that she heard someone in there. She pulled out her spare key and opened the door. What she found shocked her.

Harm was sitting near the window, slumped down on the couch with a nearly empty beer bottle in his hand. Other bottles littered the apartment. He was drunk, totally and completely drunk and wasted.

"Harm?" she softly called out, just in case he wasn't awake.

"What is it now? Have you come to say goodbye? Or did you bring Webb with you to flaunt him in my face?" he bitterly asked.

"Harm! What is going on? I've been trying to reach you for the past hour." She moved closer to see him in the moonlight and was even more surprised to find that he had been crying. Deciding to ignore the Webb comment for the moment, she took pity on her best friend and sat down next to him.

"I've been here. 14 times. You've called me 14 times, what the hell is so damn important?"

"I had something I needed to talk to you about but it can wait. What's wrong?" She tried to reach out to put her hand on his arm. It was a gesture meant for comfort but he only pulled away sharply.

"What? You've come to tell me you're leaving me? Is that it?" he snarled.

"No, I'm not leaving you. Why would you think that?"

"Because everyone I've ever loved in my life has gone or is leaving me. Mattie's gone. She came to terms with her father and is back with him. My dad's dead and gone. Diane died. You're with Webb and that hurts just as much as if you were gone. I'm tired of everyone leaving me," he almost cried but instead of breaking into tears he took another swig of his bottle.

"So you decided to drown your sorrows in alcohol?"

"Why not?"

"Harmon Rabb, I will not let you do this to yourself," she stated defiantly. In one quick motion, she grabbed the bottle from his hand and dumped the rest of it down the sink.

"What are you doing? I was drinking that!" he protested.

She didn't answer him as she proceeded to dump the few remaining bottles down the sink and place them all in a garbage bag. When she finished, she turned back around to find him still on the couch, tears running down his face, his body shaking with the grief.

"What have I done with myself?" he cried. Mac sat down on the couch and hugged him tightly as he continued to quietly sob. He'd never really cried in front of her, not like this. If he had, she couldn't think of a time. Harm was usually very good at hiding his emotions from the world about him. To see him break down and cry so openly and so hard was near unthinkable.

She continued to hold him as he began rocking gently back and forth, tears still streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry…so sorry, Sarah…don't leave me…please don't leave me….I'm sorry…," he cried out, his voice full of anguish.

"I'm not going anywhere," she softly promised. Tears had come to her eyes too but they did not fall.

Because of all the alcohol in his system and because he was emotionally exhausted, he quickly fell asleep and Mac laid him down on the couch and covered him with a blanket. There was no way she was leaving this apartment and him alone. He was going to have one massive hangover in the morning and she was determined not to let him go through this alone. Harm was suffering with too much pain for her to leave him at a time like this.

She quietly cleaned up the rest of the apartment, dumping the beer bottles in the dumpster outside. Several things had been knocked over in what she assumed had been a fit of anger and rage. When Mac was done straightening, she surveyed the nearly dark loft. She wished she were strong enough to move him up to his bed but she was sure that whatever pain he gained from sleeping on the small couch would be the least of his worries.

After a quick mental debate and with no other choices, she went to his bed to sleep. She was delighted to find that the sheets and pillow still contained his scent. Still worried about him, she fitfully slept for a few hours before finally giving up and waking up at 0714. She found things to keep her busy until he finally arose sometime around 1000.

She had a hot cup of coffee and a couple aspirin waiting for him.

He mumbled his thanks and headed off to take a shower. When he returned, he looked much fresher and more awake but she could still see that the side of him she had seen the night before was still present.

"You didn't have to stay," he said, sitting down at a bar stool at the island counter.

"I'm not leaving you," stated Mac.

"Promise?" He sounded like a little boy, innocent and hopeful. It was almost like he was begging her not to leave him, ever.

"If that's what you want," she answered.

He nodded, instantly regretting it as a pain shot through his head. He put a hand to his head in an effort to stop the pain, the reminder of his drinking binge the night before.

"Do you want some breakfast?" she asked. "I've made some toast and eggs, if you want."

"That sounds great, but I'm not really hungry."

"How much did you drink last night?" she quietly asked, setting the plate down in front of him.

"Just a few bottles," he lied. He had started with just a six-pack of beer, but when he had found a couple more of them stored in the back of his closet, he decided to finish them off too.

Mac knew he was lying. She had cleaned up more than a few bottles last night. She silently watched as he picked at his food. Could it be that Harmon Rabb Jr. was moping? Or was it just because of the massive hangover he must be suffering through?

"Does it taste that bad?" she asked.

"No, it tastes great," he assured her. Now she knew something was really, really wrong. When had he not taken advantage of an opportunity to tease her about her cooking?

She was at a loss on how to bring up what he had said last night. Obviously the subject was still weighing heavily on his mind but there he went again, hiding his emotions.

The sound of his phone ringing interrupted her concerned thoughts and she moved to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Mac? What are you doing there?" Mattie's voice filled the phone line.

"Just getting an early start on the day working on some case stuff with Harm. What's up?"

Harm watched Mac curiously, having only a small idea on who was on the other end.

"Is Harm there? Actually, can you just tell him that I won't be able to make it this afternoon? Dad and I decided to spend a few more days in Colorado," Mattie told her. Truth be told, she didn't really want to talk to Harm. She hated letting him down and since she had gotten back together with her dad, things had been awkward between her and her one-time guardian.

"Yes, I'll let him know. Have fun though," Mac wished her.

"Thanks, Mac. Bye." Mac hung up the phone and turned to face Harm.

"That was Mattie," Mac began.

"Let me guess, she can't make it this afternoon?" Harm sighed.

"She and her dad are going to spend a little more time on their vacation. I'm sorry, Harm."

"Why? It's not your fault," he said, setting down his fork and pushing away the still full plate.

"I'm still sorry things didn't work out between you two. At least you made a difference in her life," Mac tried.

"Yeah, she's back with her dad. She's happy now. I'm tired of being someone that everyone expects will always be there when they're in trouble. When they're happy, I get tossed aside and ignored," he complained bitterly, getting up and heading for the fridge.

She waited for his next verbal attack as he searched the fridge and didn't find what he was looking for. She had cleaned it out the night before, knowing that he was in danger of becoming an alcoholic.

"What'd you do with it? Where did you put my beer?" he asked, turning around to face her.

"Dumped it down the drain. All of it," Mac said matter-of-factly.

"Why? I need a drink." He started to head for the door, grabbing his wallet and keys off the desk on his way.

"Harm, don't," she called out.

The pleading tone of her voice stopped him as he fully realized what he was about to do. "My god, what am I doing?" he asked, moving to collapse down on the couch.

She joined him there, sitting closer than normal to provide comfort. "Harm? What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped.

Mac waited patiently, hoping that he would change his mind and open up to her. She was determined to wait and listen to whatever he had to say to her. Running away too soon had caused too many misunderstandings. But he didn't speak; he sat there sullenly, refusing to say a word. She put her hand on his back and rubbed it, running it around in comforting circles.

"There is, nor will there ever be, a Webb and I." Mac didn't know why those words just blurted out of her mouth, but they had. They did make the tension that had been so thick clear up a little.

"His choice or yours?"

"Mine."

Another long silence filled the air.

Harm sat there, bent over with his head in his hands. He didn't want to look at her. She continued to gently rub his back, trying to reassure him that she was there for him.

"Do you want me to get you some coffee?"

"Later. Can we just sit here for now?"

"Sure. I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"I will if you will."

"I promise."

"Then so do I."

And so they sat, two people silently repairing the rift in their friendship. No words were spoken, no sounds were made. Just silence, comfortable silence.

And for once, things were good.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please review, if you have the time. 


End file.
